


(daydreaming)

by our_black_heart



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Daydreaming, Drug Addiction, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, poet!frank, writer!frank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 10:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1855057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/our_black_heart/pseuds/our_black_heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard doesn't worry about the fact that Frank tends to ignore everyone and everything, he doesn't worry about how Frank pushes away his problems and becomes indifferent towards things. Gerard doesn't worry until Frank starts to space out while he's with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(daydreaming)

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: mentions of a shitty life style, drug use, lack of awareness of reality, mentions suicide (although it is not committed, nor is it implied that the person tried).

Sometimes Frank got this look in his eyes. People would worry, even get pissed off if he happened to let the daze overcome him while they spoke to him. But not Gerard. Never Gerard. Because Gerard was his boyfriend and nothing Frank could do would piss him off. Plus he looked kind of hot when his lips were pursed and his eyes were glazed with wonder.

This constant disconnect with the world around him, didn’t really concern Gerard about Frank. The only thing that worried Gerard about it was that he felt like Frank didn’t want to be in the real world, or more specifically didn’t want to be with him. But he understood that desire, it’s not like he and Frank were living a perfectly comfortable life. They were actually pretty fucked up. Both thoroughly dependent on drugs, both utterly broke. To make matters slightly worse, they were living in a dingy downtown apartment and although they did fight a lot, they loved each other more than any shitty thing they could ever own or want.

Frank wrote a lot, usually right after one of his episodes. It wasn’t until Frank shared his poetry with Gerard, that Gerard started to actually worry. Most of Frank’s poetry revolved around a desire for suicide, for more drugs and for a life alone with only Gerard.

One day after a really bad fight and really great sex, Gerard rubbed Frank’s stomach. Right bellow the navel and right above the marks that Frank’s boxers made because they were too tight. Usually this gave Frank chills, Gerard thought they were pretty as they rose up so suddenly and gracefully. Gerard would watch Frank’s skin rise in a trail following his fingertips. But that didn’t happen today and it’s not like Frank hadn’t just had the best orgasm of his life, because Gerard knew he did. He could feel it vibrate through his own body and ripple like a massive thunderous storm.

So he looked up at Frank only to be met by the same distant look that he was starting to grow worrisome of.

“Frank” he called out almost desperately. No response. He felt as if he was talking to a vacant room.

“Frank” Frank’s eyes stuttered but he didn’t seem to be coming back to Gerard. Not yet anyways.

Gerard’s heart started to falter. He kissed Frank’s chest as softly as he could. His skin was moist with sweat and warm as an after effect of their previous fucking session. But Frank was always warm, whether it was physically or emotionally. Gerard felt no difference in the way Frank’s body was stiff, so he allowed the prickling warmth of Frank’s skin to fade from his lips.

As Gerard’s lips left Frank’s skin, Frank started to come back to him. A deafening moment of silence passed between the two before Frank broke it.

“Gerard, will you kiss me some more?”

Gerard didn’t speak, he simply complied. He hated seeing Frank so scared and it frightened Gerard that Frank could look so little and vulnerable, especially after they had just ravaged each other like wild animals.

This kiss was urgent, it was as if it would break Frank free and they both wanted that. So they kissed and the kiss bared hope and fear and maybe a little bit of prayer. Although neither of them was too particularly religious.

Frank looked at Gerard almost apologetically.

“Frank” He tried one last time.

“Hmmmm” Frank hummed in response.

“Do you do that to get away from me?” Gerard’s voice was shaky, he couldn’t stand to think that Frank, the only good thing in his life, to his possession, didn’t want to be with him. Wanted to escape him.

Frank looked at him, really looked at him. Looked through his eyes and question and even through his soul. His eyes piercing and radiating a kind of heat that could be felt on Gerard.

“Why would I want that?”

Gerard hid his face. Embarrassed. He knew the answer to that. Frank would want to get away from him because Gerard was an addict, because Gerard couldn’t be everything Frank needed, because Gerard was as broken as Frank and couldn’t help him get better.

Frank saw the panic in Gerard’s expression, he had seen it many times before. He inhaled as sharply as Gerard had exhaled.

“No.”

“What?” Gerard didn’t understand what Frank was trying to say, and Frank was never really well spoken, not as much as he could write well.

“I do it to get away from myself Gerard.”

Gerard had the same puzzled expression and Frank had to try really hard not to bash him upside the head with the bed side table lamp.

“Gerard, you are and will always be what brings me back. I will always come back to you, you stupid motherfucker. Always.”

The playful smirk Frank wore reassured Gerard of the truth Frank was speaking. And then he knew, Frank wanted to get away from himself as much as Gerard wanted to get away from himself. And just like Frank, Gerard lived for his rebellious young lover, lived for and through Frank. He’d always come back. So they fucked again, this time leaving out the anger and little bits of violent remarks that the first time had. This time they fucked with a purpose. To show each other that if the day came when they didn’t come back to each other, they shouldn’t look for one another. Because if they didn’t come back, they were probably dead.

Moans and groans and pleads filled the room, tears and curses escaped the two as they hit their climaxes and they rode and rocked into a lazy rhythm, without needing, with lots of wanting.

**Author's Note:**

> All of these fics are posted on livejournal as well. Again, comments are appreciated. Thanks for the read. Let me know what I'm doing wrong/ right.


End file.
